This $2.25 million metro Detroit house is beige AF


Imagine if 311 changed their lyrics to “Beige is the color of your energy.” Yuck! ”What if totally hip British hitmakers Coldplay wrote a song called “Beige” instead of “Yellow”? Ugh! And let's be real, the Beatles “Yellow Submarine” would hit a lot different as “Beige Submarine.” Boo! 

Well, there's no shame in this curiously contemporary 6,727-sq. ft. house's beige game.

OK – so we know that there are many shades of beige, but this house has them all, with hints of equally drab light taupe and sand. Built in 1942 — though some of its architectural elements give us 1980's vibes — this waterfront Orchard Lake Village home has five beds, four baths, and, perhaps the only source of color in the home, the chlorinated water of the indoor pool with a hot tub.

The home also features three fireplaces, a Steamist Sauna in the master shower, an indoor barbeque, a rec room, family room, and a beige carpeted spiral staircase and another spiral staircase leading to the home's upper deck, with views of the lake. There's also a pretty damn beige guest house, with a full kitchen and bath.

Someone please buy this house and do something totally rebellious like, oh, say, paint a wall white or greige.

This home is listed by The Michael Team via Re/Max New Trend.