This $1.37 million retro waterfront home in Bloomfield Township has a solarium with a hot tub

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Rarely do we stumble upon A) a house quite like this and B) a real estate agent-written description of a property of this magnitude and uniqueness that basically is like, "Hey, this house has a nice lot, this price tag is basically just for the acre of land, do what you want with the house.” No, really. The home description does not highlight a single feature from this stunning 5 bedroom, 5.5+ bath, 8,545 square foot home in Bloomfield Township other than calling the home a home. Yeah. So, we're going to step in and say to this home's future owner: please, for the love of god, do not demolish this home to make room for some soulless new construction monstrosity. Live here, laugh here, love here, and most of all, please invite us over because this might be one of our favorite properties we've clicked on in a while.

Not only does this property, built in 1977, look like a retro superhero HQ (albeit, one that needs a wee bit of TLC in terms of its exterior), but it's a beautifully confusing amalgamation of design styles, eras, whispers of '80s hotel lobby, and the most amount of cream-colored plush carpeting we've ever seen. It's got spiral staircases, sunken living rooms with built-in carpeted seating with a fireplace, a solarium with an inground hot tub, floor-to-ceiling windows in the great room, the best damn bathtub and split shower situation we've ever seen, hidden living nooks, and a wet bar — and that's just the inside. The real magic is the home's exterior, which looks like what Tony Stark aka Iron Man might have sketched out for the Avengers' hangout spot in the '70s  and crossed it with a Cheesecake Factory.

Was the listing wrong? Are the possibilities endless? Is the one-acre lot fit for the construction of a custom dream home? Sure. But what the listing fails to mention, aside from, like, anything, is just how loudly this incredible home is screaming to be saved. Superheroes apply within.

This property is listed by Alex Lucido of Lucido Real Estate