There’s a $14.9 million palatial estate in Northville that has movie theatre that gives us ‘I Dream of Jeannie’ vibes — let’s take a tour

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Should we ever stumble across a genie's lamp, we will absolutely wish for a sexy night in this palatial Northville estate. We know what you're thinking. Why wouldn't we wish to own the house? Well, frankly, we'd come up a bit short when it came to the $93,000 monthly payment.

Anyway, this listing has like, zero, information about the seven-bedroom, 14-bath, 17,000-square-foot, uh, house (can we call it a house?), but it's one of those disturbingly opulent, over-designed properties that has to be seen to be believed. Either that or this place is hiding something. No, but seriously — every square inch of this joint (we're gonna call it a joint) has had a heavy-hand (or 1,000) when designing. How many different ceiling treatments does one house need? How about literal church cathedral decor? A hand-painted ceiling mural that screams “Sistine who?” Ever dreamed of pulling a full Rose from Titanic reveal down some dope-ass stairs? You can do that, too. And if bathing in a freestanding bathtub under a chandelier is on your bucket list, consider it bucketed. This house, er, joint, is cinematic, dramatic, and holy shit, we forgot to mention the Moroccan-inspired movie theatre that looks like Pier 1 (R.I.P.) on steroids exploded inside a genie bottle.

And, as with any self-respecting $14 million house, there's a billiards room, an infinity pool, waterfall, treehouse, horse stable, and a fireplace that makes Bruce Wayne look poor.

Sigh. We'll admit it, we're horny for this house.

This property is listed by Brandt Real Estate. Photos via Zillow.com