Detroit Lions QB Matthew Stafford’s $6.5 million Bloomfield Hills waterfront home is on the market — let’s take a tour

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Don't worry, Detroit Lions fans (there are still Lions fans, right?) — just because quarterback Matthew Stafford's super-luxe 12,295-square-foot Bloomfield Hills home is on sale does not mean we should pay any attention to the speculation that he's eyeing a sweet trade deal, OK? But also, could we really blame him? (Answer: No. But we could blame Lions coach Matt Patricia.)

Anyway, while the Lions continue to break our hearts season after season, the Stafford family estate is breaking hearts for other reasons, like that friggin' closet that appears to belong to the QB and literally wraps around and jfc it's bigger than anything we've ever lived in. Another heartbreaking fact: we don't have $6.5 million laying around to snatch it up and turn it into the ultimate Metro Times HQ.

When Matthew and Kelly Stafford bought the gated home in 2013, they didn't have any kids. Now, they're expecting their fourth. Kelly says the reason for the move is to get away from water, as to better protect her little MVPs.

“Listen, I’m here, I want to be here. I love being a Detroit Lion, I love leading this team,” Stafford said in a conference following the news that their home was on the market. “All that kind of stuff is just out there to be out there. It's a slow news month at that point and I’m just happy to be where I am and ready to deal with this offseason the way that it is and try to make the best of the season that I hope happens.”

OK — back to the house.

The home features 5 bedrooms, 5 full baths, and 2 half baths, as well as 441 feet of lake frontage. Cool. Also cool? The temperature-controlled wine cellar, the glass elevator with access to all three floors, floor to ceiling windows, a two-story foyer, granite floors, a gourmet kitchen, a marble master bath, a coffee bar (um, excuse me?), a hot/cold plunge bath, sauna, steam room, and the listing claims the Stafford home comes with the largest infinity pool in all of Michigan. Oh, we forgot to mention the home's indoor half basketball court with Detroit Piston's flooring from back when they called Pontiac's Silverdome home.

This home is listed by Jeff Barker of Max Broock Realtors.