Behold this modern $6.3 million mammoth Montague mansion on a dune overlooking Lake Michigan


God grant us the strength to not sell off everything we own — including our organs and our Beanie Babies collection only to become an international drug mule-turned-assassin — in hopes of getting our hands on $6.3 million to buy this J. Visser-designed home built atop a dang dune overlooking Lake Michigan in Montague.

Eh, fuck strength. This house is worth it.

Built in 2010, this home was originally listed in 2017 for $8.5 million as part of an international multimillion-dollar property auction and just re-hit the market with a lower price tag. The 8,114-square-foot Muskegon County estate, which is broken into “pods," boasts nine bedrooms, eight baths, and a 25-acre private forest, including 576 feet of beach frontage. There are floor-to-ceiling windows, six stone fireplaces, sprawling rooftop decks with hot tubs and outdoor dining areas, and panoramic forest and lakeside views. There are three separate living quarters, because one is so pedestrian. The home also has a fitness studio with a sauna and steam room and something called a wine grotto. Oh, and if that weren't enough, the property is also home to a three-bedroom carriage house, complete with a kitchen, bath, and garage. 

Now, excuse us as we acclimate into our new life of crime — all for the sake of luxury real estate. See you in the wine cave, er, grotto!

This listing is available via Andrea Grossman reality