Strains (Flower)

For the canna-curious:

Harlequin, $55 per eighth
Huron View Dispensary, 3152 Packard St., Ann Arbor; 734-882-2970; a2huronview.com

We know what you're thinking. Metro Times, like, we might be canna-curious, but we're not canna-weak. We hear you, but when it comes to exploring your reactions to weed and building your tolerance, it’s critical to start low and slow, which is why we've nominated this light strain as being one of the best for new smokers. Harlequin, a sativa-dominant strain, is a cross between a Nepali Indica and two strains out of Thailand and Switzerland. Known for its high CBD content (10%) and mild THC percentage (8.6%), Harlequin is the training wheels of weed. Like anything weed-related, you can always add/increase your high, but taking it away, toning it down, and pumping the brakes is, well, impossible.

Photo via Weedmaps

Strains (Flower)

For the canna-sseur:

GMO Cookies, $20 per gram
Cloud Cannabis, 1760 Plymouth Rd., Ann Arbor; 734-619-1204; cloudcannabis.com

When it comes to understanding marijuana strains, one must respect the percentages associated with strains, because that will determine whether you're going to work high or calling in because you can't discern your face from a mountain. Wait, what? Anyway, canna-sseurs know what they can handle, and it’s likely they can handle a lot of THC — like, 31.5% THC, as provided by GMO Cookies. GMO Cookies, which has nothing to do with genetically modified anything, is a top-shelf cross between Chemdawg D and GSC (Girl Scout Cookies). The result? An uplifting and relaxing 31.5% high. For the newbies wondering, is 31.5% a lot? Trust us. It is.

Photo via Weedmaps

Strains (Flower)

For canna-lovers in both categories:

Fluresh, Blue Dream, $30 per eighth
Herbology Cannabis Co., 11392 W. Jefferson Ave., River Rouge; 313-757-7684; herbologycannabisco.com

Feeling blue? Us, too! But not in a sad way — in a Blue Dream way, as in the sativa-dominant hybrid strain that’s considered a favorite of jokers, smokers, and midnight tokers across the board. A blend of Super Silver Haze and Blueberry, Fluresh's Blue Dream provides a productive, happy, relaxing, and uplifting high without feeling too racy. Oh, and it tastes good, thanks to earthy notes of blueberry.

Photo via Weedmaps

Dab rig

For the canna-curious:

G-Pen Connect, $155
BDT Smoke Shops, various locations; facebook.com/bdthazelpark

Let's keep this nice and easy, folks. Traditional dabbing requires a torch, a nail, and what the hell, we just want to get our dab on! Well, that's where the G Pen Connect comes in. Described as a “revolutionary alternative to concentrate consumption,” the G Pen Connect eliminates the hassle of, like, having to know how to dab, because it's powered by a ceramic heating element, a patented reverse airflow technology, and a magnetic “connect” feature. OK, so you still need a glass piece/rig to use the G Pen Connect, but the magic here is that it does the work for you, all while making you look like a dabbing pro.

Photo via GPen.com

Dab rig

For the canna-sseur:

MJ Arsenal Mini Dab Rig Royale in Amber, $69.99
LIV, 2625 Hilton Rd., Ste. 100, Ferndale; 248-420-4200; livferndale.com

You're going to need a blowtorch. Wait, what? Though this may be more affordable than the electric rig for the amateurs, don’t underestimate a classic glass rig, because it requires some skill to use and several steps before you can transcend your earthly body. Canna-sseurs love this mini dab rig. Wait a minute, Metro Times. We're canna-sseurs, we can handle full-size dab rigs, you might be thinking. Well, we're sure you can, but this mini rig by MJ Arsenal claims to showcase maximum wax/concentrate flavor because a smaller rig means less air, which means big flavor. See? That's what real canna-sseurs care about.

Photo via Weedmaps

Dab rig

For canna-lovers in both categories:

Pulsar Electric Dab Rig, $250
LIV, 2625 Hilton Rd., Ste. 100, Ferndale; 248-420-4200; livferndale.com

Do you even dab, bro? Why, yes, yes we do, and we’re always on the hunt for a good rig. Well, a favorite electric rig of wax lovers and flower lovers alike is a bit on the pricey side, but according to its many glowing reviews it’s worth every penny, especially because it's electric, meaning no scary fire required. The Pulsar Electric Dab Rig features three voltage settings, isolated air paths, and a whole lot of updates from previous models, including a much faster heat-up time. A standout feature for many of those who dare to dab is just how much the flavor of concentrates comes through without the butane or burnt taste. The rig also includes dabber tools, wire brushes, herb and wax carb caps, a coilless ceramic atomizer cup, and a charging cable.

Photo via Weedmaps

Edible

For the canna-curious:

Wana Gummies, $22-$26
1st Quality Medz, 286 Burke St., River Rouge; 313-406-4688; firstqualitymeds.com

Anyone who’s taken THC edibles knows that there’s a delicate balance between euphoria and face-melting catatonic panic attacks and thoughts of the “do I even exist?” variety. Like, seriously. We’ve all been there. Freaked out? Don't be, our precious little baby weed newbie. Edibles have come a long way since the days of unlabeled homemade brownies passed around at house parties. In fact, edibles are frequently made in lower-dosed pieces (gummies) or perforated chocolate bars so you can snap off the dose that's right for you. As far as consistency goes, don't gloss over these simply packaged gummy candies out of Colorado, which are fan favorites hailed by edible eaters of all experience levels. Wana offers a variety of potent gummy candies, and each child-proof container has 10 sweet and/or sour gummies that, together, add up to 100mg of THC, CBD, or a bit of both, depending on the variant. (That means 10 mg per piece.) Remember: You can always increase your high but you cannot — we repeat — cannot decrease it. So, take a nibble, and another, or, when you're ready, pop the whole thing.

Photo via Weedmaps

Edible

For the canna-sseur:

Dream Edibles, $6+
Common Citizen, 877 E. Eight Mile Rd., Hazel Park; 248-776-0100; commoncitizen.com

Listen, canna-sseurs have their pick of most weed things because, well, they can handle it. Here in Michigan, though, when it comes to edibles, there are limits (boo!) to how much THC is allowed per unit and per container (200 mg). That's why the Michigan handcrafted caramel brand Dream Edibles is our pick for the canna-sseur for a few reasons. For one, each piece contains around 24% THC (that's more than double than most low-dose edibles). Secondly, they come in flavors like sea salt, peanut butter, and dulce de leche, which means you might just find yourself popping more than one because they're just that tasty. We're not math wizards, but you could find yourself 70-some milligrams higher than you were before you opened a package of Dream Edibles.

Photo via Weedmaps

Edible

For canna-lovers in both categories:

Fluresh Fast-Acting Drink Enhancer, Good Vibes, $35
Breeze, 24517 John R Rd., Hazel Park; 833-927-3393; breeze.us

Lemonade? Boring. Coffee? Lame. Water? Take a fucking hike. Drinking things just got more stonier, thanks to Fluresh brand’s fast-acting drink enhancer, which comes in Good Vibes (THC) and Chill Out (1:1 THC/CBD). After squeezing just a couple of drops of this vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free, low-calorie enhancer into your drink of choice, uplifting and elevating effects can take place as soon as 15 minutes after consumption, making it perfect for tokers, er, drinkers of all experience levels.

Photo via Weedmaps

Vaporizer

For the canna-curious:

Ooze Slim Pen Twist Battery with Smart USB, $19.99
Available at various Detroit-area dispensaries; oozelife.com

We were canna-curious once when it came to vaping, and we remember not wanting to do a damn thing other than huff and puff on a portable and discreet pen anywhere and everywhere regardless of legal ramifications. Leave the high-maintenance vapes for the canna-sseur and don't overthink baby's first vape (as in you, baby, not an actual human baby, because that would be irresponsible). Welcome to the Ooze life: Ooze, a Michigan-bred cannabis accessory company, was one of the earliest vape batteries around. “Batteries? I thought we were talking about vape pens?” Calm down, newbie. Most disposable vape pens harness a battery, which you can then screw/pop in your favorite concentrate cartridge. You good? OK, so Ooze offers affordable — and colorful — USB rechargeable batteries that are so slim and so portable that you won't even know it's there. Well, that is until you hit that shit and you're on clouds 9, 10, and 420.

Photo via OozeLife.com

Vaporizer

For the canna-sseur:

Storz and Bickel, Volcano Hybrid, $699
BDT Smoke Shops, various locations; facebook.com/bdthazelpark

What separates the canna-sseur from the canna-curious? Two words: the Volcano. OK, but what is it? Well, since first erupting onto the cannabis consumption scene more than 20 years ago, Storz and Bickel's mighty desktop dry flower vaporizer has come a long way. The new fast-heating Volcano Hybrid vaporizes flower and concentrates and provides the most consistent, customizable vape sesh. Oh, we hope you like balloons and tubes because this heavy-duty vape utilizes an inhalation method that fills either a giant balloon (fun!) or a tube (it's like kissing a snake!) with all that delicious vapor that will, within 1-2 minutes of heating, take you to the center of the Earth (depending on what strain you vape, of course). While the Volcano brand vaporizers are not, like, technically portable (imagine seeing someone at Electric Forest with their Volcano plugged into their 2012 Prius lol), you can tote it around — but why do that when you can just bring the party to you?

Photo via facebook.com/BDTHazelPark

Vaporizer

For canna-lovers in both categories:

PAX 3, $250
BDT Smoke Shops, various locations; facebook.com/bdthazelpark

At some point in the last few years, vaping became synonymous with rechargeable batteries with the cartridges of oil. But before concentrates rose to popularity and, you know, long before the word “Juul” became part of the global lexicon, there was humble herb and humble vaporizers. The PAX, however, as discreet as it may be, is far from humble. The first PAX sprouted in 2012 and has since evolved into a sleek and sexy conduction oven that gently heats cannabis flower in just 22 seconds upon demand. Oh, and this high-tech vape baby isn’t just for flower. The kit, which comes with a USB charger, maintenance kit (you really do need to clean this thing, OK?), and both flat and raised mouthpieces, also comes with a concentrate insert so you can do you — you know, just get higher.

Photo via facebook.com/BDTHazelPark

Home Goods

For the canna-curious:

Blazy Susan spinning rolling tray, $89-$149
Blazysusan.com

So your canna-curiosity has led you to buy a little bit of everything along the way to better inform your cannabis journey. So what the heck do you do with all your tools, utensils, herb, and carts? Fear not, as Blazy Susan is here to organize the chaos in a cute and functional way. Blazy Susan, a Colorado company known for their vegan, non-GMO French-made premium pink rolling papers, also has their version of a Lazy Susan but, like, for weed. The Blazy Susan spinning rolling tray comes in several options, but our personal fave is the one that comes in walnut and, like all of their spinning rolling trays, comes with various compartments designated for all different types of smoking accessories and supplies, as well as silicone inserts. Whether you want to stash your stash in a cupboard or proudly display your goodies for all to see, the Blazy Susan Lazy Susan is a great way to keep track of your newly developed habit — er, hobby — in a stylish and functional way. Smoke on, Susan. Smoke on.

Photo courtesy of Blazy Susan

Home Goods

For the canna-sseur:

Houseplant ashtray and vase set, $85
Houseplant.com

Hollywood's most lovable pothead is now North America's favorite home goods designer, ceramicist, and weed-grower. That's right, Seth Rogen (who has gotten, like, way hot as of late if we’re being completely honest) recently launched his weed brand Houseplant, which offers potent flower with accompanying records to set the tone, as well as unique handcrafted accessories for the snobby smoker. (And omg we want it all!) The reason we're listing Rogen's Houseplant goodies as being designated for the canna-sseur is, well, the hefty price tag. While the herb, which is currently not available in Michigan (boo!) is priced to push, the home goods are a bit of an investment. Take the $280+ marble tabletop car lighter, for example, or the $260 Oil Lamp setup. For those who want to take their weed smoking seriously, we suggest the original decorative offering via Rogen's brand: the ashtray and vase set, which honors both the houseplant and the weed plant (and is only $85 for the pair).

Photo via houseplant.com

Home Goods

For canna-lovers in both categories:

Moon Bowl, Apple Pipe, $60
Skymint, 1958 S. Industrial Hwy., Ste. A & B, Ann Arbor; 734-627-7360; skymint.com

We're speaking from experience when we say that apples and pop bottles were among our first weed smoking devices, hobbled together in childhood bedrooms complete with a toilet paper cardboard tube with a dryer sheet rubber-banded to it, you know, to diffuse the smoke smell. Well, the apple pipe has gotten a bit of a makeover because we’re adults now and we like to display our sophistication for all to see. Enter Moon Bowl's Apple Pipe. While you may not be able to munch on the apple post-toke (ew, we didn't do that!) this ceramic pipe made to look like the apple bongs of our youth is perfect for smokers of all persuasions and skill levels, because nostalgia, baby. Plus, when you have your family over for Thanksgiving, your stepmom Carol will be like, “wow, where did you get this handcrafted, decorative, totally non-functional ceramic apple?” We'll never tell, Carol.

Photo via Weedmaps

Topicals

For the canna-curious:

Mary's Medicinals, Transdermal Patch, CBD 1:1 THC, $12
1st Quality Medz, 286 Burke St., River Rouge; 313-406-4688; firstqualitymeds.com

Remember when you pulled a back muscle trying to replace the water cooler at work and you were laid out for, like, days, and your boss was all, like, “we need you to work! Buy! Sell! Buy Sell!” Well, we don't know where the fuck you work, but it sounds awful. If only we could put a magic patch on your work situation. At least there's Mary's Medicinals Transdermal Patches, which are just $12 and, once slapped onto any venous part of your skin (ankle, wrist, etc.) will provide more than a workday's worth of unsurpassed relief. No creams, no gels, no mess — just you, beautiful painless, you. Warning: Upon application of Mary's patch, you may feel so good that you just might just tell your boss Jeff to suck a duck. Take that, capitalism!

Photo via Weedmaps

Topicals

For the canna-sseur:

Mary's Medicinals, Muscle Freeze CBD Cream, 300mg, $60
New Standard, 24906 John R Rd., Hazel Park; 248-873-0420; anewstandard.com

This is not a drill: You can now kick your aches, pains, post-surgery woes to the curb because you've got a new friend in Mary. Now, she might give you the ol' freeze out, but trust us when we say it feels good. Mary's Medicinals Muscle Freeze CBD Cream (300 mg) cools, soothes, and is the weed lover's alternative to grandma's muscle rub. Mary's Muscle Freeze is made from cannabis extract, massage oil, menthol, and that's it. Just pump, rub, and enjoy the numbing, tingling, no-pain feels for two to four hours.

Photo via Weedmaps

Topicals

For canna-lovers in both categories:

Ella CBD Bath Bomb (50mg), $20
The Patient Station, 539 S. Huron St., Ypsilanti; 734-544-9999; thepatientstation.com

It doesn't matter where you fall on the cannabis user spectrum of skill level, commitment, and experience; anyone can — and should — take a dang bath. We're talking candles, bubbles, and Ella's CBD Bath Bomb, which provides 50 mg of CBD relief. Just drop, plop, soak, and let go of emails, Slack notifications, and your uncomfortable knowledge of TikTok dances and just soak. The Ella bomb comes in three varieties: Soothe, Relax, and Revive, and each has its own combo of all-natural ingredients like peppermint, eucalyptus, clove, lavender, orange, and tea tree oil.

Photo via Weedmaps