Level up at Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum or Pinball Pete's

Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum, 31005 Orchard Lake Rd., Farmington Hills; 248-626-5020; marvin3m.com; Pinball Pete's, 1214 S. University Ave., Ann Arbor; 734-213-2502; pinballpetes.org

Few things go together as naturally as marijuana and video games. No, seriously. It's like whoever invented the video game was probably high when they invented it. OK — so we cannot confirm that physicist William Higinbotham developed a simple ping-pong-like game that wasn't Pong (that came out 20-some years later) while under the influence of sweet, sweet cheeba but we absolutely can attest to the fact that playing arcade games of any kind while high is one of the purest joys in life especially at either of these metro Detroit arcade institutions. Mortal Kombat? How about Mortal Kombat on weed? Oh, and quarters are cheap (wait, what?) which means you can attempt a high-score on The Simpsons or Skee-Ball with some serious coin leftover to score some green.

Photo via Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum/Facebook

Hotbox your car at Ford-Wyoming Drive-in

10400 Ford Rd., Dearborn; 313-846-6910; forddrivein.com
Driving and consuming marijuana is not legal, folks. And yes, that goes for the all-too-discreet vape and edible life, too. However, what happens in your car at the 70-plus-year-oldFord-Wyoming Drive-in stays in your car at the Ford-Wyoming Drive-in. That is until you exit your vehicle to snag some optional concession munchies because yeah, dudes and dudettes, you don't have to spring for concessions because you can bring your own. Hell, you can bring full meals, full-blown takeout, eat fucking sushi from your dashboard because no one is going to stop you. All tickets include two movies which mean more time to get and stay high. Oh, and we've all been at a traditional non-drive-in theater and been so high and found ourselves laughing at very inappropriate times (we would like to issue a formal apology to anyone who may have been in the audience of the Friday morning matinee showing of Million Dollar Baby at Star Gratiot in Roseville.) Well, guess what? You can laugh at as many tragic boxing-based accidents you want with no social stigma and no shame. Blaze up and drive in. Just don't forget to turn your headlights off, stoner.

Photo via Ford-Wyoming Drive-in/Facebook

Fulfill stoner stereotypes by indulging in some disc golf

Listen, some cliches are a cliche for a reason. Case and point, weed smokers and disc golf — and there's nothing wrong with slipping on some Birks and hitting one or more of metro Detroit's many disc golf courses. New to being a proper stoner? Disc golf is a combination of frisbee and golf but it's usually in the woods where no one can hear you toke. Not only does it get you outside (don't worry, Diablo and pizza rolls aren't going anywhere) but it counts as exercise so you can tell your respective Apple product to stop sending inactivity alerts.

Photo via Shutterstock

Go crate digging for some Dead, Floyd, Seger or other stoner must-have LPs

It may be a while until you can christen your Birkenstocks at your favorite jam-band festival, but no one is stopping you from holding Electric Forest (at home) 42.0 with all of your best friends. We're talking about records, baby. And yes, we mean records and not vinyls because we're not 12, Jesus. Lucky for you and your backyard smoke sesh, metro Detroit is home to some essential record shops for people of all budgets, backgrounds, and musical persuasions. You can blaze up and go crate digging or save your stash for when you have some new vinyl to sway to, you beautiful dang hippie you.

Photo via Village Vinyl/Facebook

Pretend you know what art means at the Detroit Institute of Arts

5200 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 313-833-7900; dia.org
Did you know Pablo Picasso smoked weed? OK — so that really isn't all that surprising when you look at his work it actually makes sense which is why you might want to consider getting high before snagging a timed ticket for the Detroit Institute of Arts. Of course, we are asking you to be respectful when doing so, meaning no licking creamy and tempting marble statues, no screaming at contemporary art you don't understand, no laughing at weird nude bodies, and absolutely no pretentious commentary of any kind stoned or not that shit is annoying. Just surround yourself with beautiful things, timeless works of art, and mind blowing artifacts. We should also add no climbing into a sarcophagus with mummies because, well, just trust us.

Photo courtesy of the DIA

Put the green in Dequindre Cut Greenway

1776 Woodbridge St., Detroit; detroitriverfront.org You won't believe this but weed and walking go really well together. No, like, so well that exercise aka walking or biking releases endorphins and cannabis tends to heighten what's happening in the body. So, why not conduct an experiment by getting high and stroll the Dequindre Cut Greenway? You know, for science. The two-mile greenway connecting the East Detroit Riverfront, Eastern Market, and some residential areas is a below-street level pedestrian paved path prime for biking or casual street art.

Photo via Hannah Ervin/Detroit Stock City

See how many essential Detroit area pizza places you can take on with your superhuman munchies

If weed were a food it would probably be pizza because pizza, unlike most foods, is fucking perfect and literally no one can tell us otherwise. Actually, Detroit-style pizza is perfect and if we weren't high and docile and totally subdued thanks to this super chill indica we're rocking we might actually fight the haters. Instead of hating anything (well, except for olives and/or pineapple as toppings because, just, no) we suggest trying a new pizza place in town or see how many pizzas you can eat in a month like Papa John's problematic papa. Not sure where to start? Check out our list of 30 essential pizza restaurants (pizzerias?) you should be getting your pizza fix at.

Photo by Tom Perkins

Take your high on a hike. Like, a real hike

Getting high at home? Awesome. Getting high in nature? The best. Good news because Michigan is, like, one of the most beautiful places ever which means there are beautiful places to take a nature stroll aka a hike aka that thing celebrities say they do in L.A. but they're just, like, walking on the sidewalk in very expensive athletic gear. Pack a bowl and head explore some of metro Detroit's prime hiking opportunities.

Photo via Ken Lund/Flickr Commons

Rave on at home thanks to Paxahau DJ and beatmaker livestreams

Not to bring up a sore subject, but, as you know, Movement is postponed, raves are on pause, and dance parties are but a dream. But that doesn't mean the party is over. In fact, the party is raging thanks to Movement electronic music festival organizers Paxahau and their trove of DJ livestreams, artist chats, and other fun content. So, invite some vaxxed and masked friends to your backyard for a hang sesh, log onto Paxahau.com to catch live sets from TV Lounge and Paxahau HQ. As always, rave responsibly.

Photo courtesy of Paxahau>

Snag fresh produce to make your CBD smoothies with at Eastern Market’s Saturday market

2934 Russell St., Detroit; 313-833-9300; easternmarket.org
It’s not spring if you’re not getting up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday to wake n' bake and caffeinate to explore the fresh eats from the farmers and makers who perch up at Detroit’s Eastern Market. Nothing beats eating fresh berries, snagging some locally-grown veggies, and struggling to carry all the damn plants you insisted on buying that you will absolutely struggle to keep alive but man, it’s Saturday, spring has sprung, and nothing can stop you. Except for, you know, being too stoned to find your car.

Photo via DetroitStockCity.com/Hannah Ervin

Catch some zen vibes at the Cranbrook Gardens

380 Long Pine Rd., Bloomfield Hills; 248-645-3149; housegardens.cranbrook.edu
One of the best parts of smoking weed, like, lots of weed, is the fact that, depending on the strain, set, and setting, cannabis can expand your mind, lower anxiety, and make the world a bit brighter. Though some of Cranbrook’s facilities remain closed due to COVID-19, what better place to reflect, heal, and maybe spend some alone time in a pretty place where you can figure out how to deal with your shitty boss without getting fired. Wait a minute. If you get fired you can collect unemployment which means you would be unemployed which means you wouldn't have to work and could dedicate your time to your favorite hobby which is smoking weed? Maybe consider, uh, some alternative options as you stroll through Cranbrook’s sunken garden or how Japanese Garden or Reflecting Pond. This shady (not, like, suspicious, but actual shade) and dreamy spot is the perfect place to tender your resignation sent from your iPhone.

Photo via Cranbrook Center for Collections and Research/Facebook

Make yourself laugh with virtual comedy classes from metro Detroit performers

Life hasn’t been exactly funny lately but have you ever experienced life on weed? While we can’t exactly laugh about how terrible things are but we can escape the doom, gloom, and that Netflix reality show about social media with virtual comedy classes via Hamtramck’s Planet Ant or Go Comedy Improv Theatre in Ferndale. Not feeling up to making others laugh? Don’t worry, both spots host regular comedy shows via Zoom, Twitch, and Facebook live. Photo via Planet Ant/Facebook

Experience history — and the Weinermobile — at the Henry Ford Museum

20900 Oakwood Blvd., Dearborn; 313-982-6001; thehenryford.com One of the many, many benefits of marijuana, aside from pain relief, anxiety-relief, and thinking things that aren't funny are the funniest, is creativity. Anyone who has smoked weed likely knows that you might experience a heightened sense of creativity and ingenuity (after all, isn't that how we ended up smoking out of apples and pop bottles?) So, why not blaze and check out the incredible history and innovation on full display at The Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn where you can see everything from the bus Rosa Parks definitely refused to give up her seat for a white man to the chair Abraham Lincoln was assassinated to the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. Who knows, you might just be inspired to create a new smoking vessel that could end up behind some major plexiglass someday.

Photo via The Henry Ford/Facebook