20 essential metro Detroit barbecue spots to get your meat sweats on right now

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You know you haven’t gotten laid during quarantine if the words “dry-rubbed and smoked low and slow” get you all hot and bothered. Well, keep your clothes on and grab a moist towelette (sorry), because these essential metro Detroit barbecue joints are doing god's work: filling our stomachs — which, to no fault of our own, have been filled with canned soup and Pop-Tarts for, like, three months now — with brisket, pulled pork, and, yes, burnt ends. Vegans, you'll have to sit this one out because we've got it bad. P.S. Our safe word is “rib tips.”